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Bagelism is the belief that the Entire universe is a bagel. In Bagelism the center of the bagel is called the yucser. No entity but the Superior Snail can go in the yucser; if another entity attempts to go inside they will be teleported to the other side as if the yucser does not exist. When the Superior Snail came out of the yucser for the first time, there was nothing inside the bagel. As the Superior Snail explored the empty void his Slimy trail created planets and stars. One time the Superior Snail came across a planet called Talos and spit on it. From his spit came life. When that life evolved it spread across the stars dropping the Superior Snails spit onto select planets. That spit evolved into other species including humans. As a species reproduces there is less spit in their offspring. To gain more spit one must eat other life forms. The bigger the life form the less spit you gain because the spit is put equally into every cell. The more spit a life form has the more life it has in it.

In Bagelism there are no rules or ways to worship as we allow the follower to choose the way he/she wishes to follow. All you must do is understand that we are a true religion and know about our beliefs. You do not have to pay any money or give up your current religion, just say you are a bagelist and spread the word.

Bagelism is currently managed by the prophet Ben Kreger. If you have any questions please ask his Hole-iness here.

Bagelism is not anti-religion we are open to all people who wish to join and respect others beliefs.